Two months ago, I quit drinking — after trying to give it up many times before. I’m a stand-up comic, so I’m often out past my bedtime performing and I’m frequently paid in drink tickets , so it felt normal for me to drink every night of the week. But I knew I couldn’t keep up my lifestyle for much longer: I wasn’t sleeping, I had no energy, and I was starting to feel out of control. I could barely get work done during the day, I was having trouble eating, and I was sending embarrassing drunk texts to guys I just met now I send embarrassing sober texts — much better. What started as one drink per night had turned into three or four and then drunkenly stumbling home, and I wanted out. After several attempts at trying to drink “in moderation” — which included trying to cut back how many drinks per night and how many days per week I drank, but not going cold turkey — I eventually just decided to quit all together. I had so many concerns: How would I make conversation with people I don’t know? How would I stay loose on stage when I was exhausted? And, perhaps most daunting of all, how would I date?
Dating after quitting drinking – how is that supposed to work?
Being sober doesn’t have to mean giving up your social life, yet managing sobriety in a social setting especially when alcohol is involved can be a bit of a challenge. You may have a lot of concerns about going out after quitting drinking. If you’re in early recovery, you’ll want to stay away from any situation where alcohol or drugs are involved for some time.
These environments can trigger cravings and put you at risk of relapse. If you have decided to cut back on alcohol for your health, or you’re more established in your sobriety, social environments that involve drinking may be easier to navigate.
When I quit drinking for good, alcohol was ruining my life. I didn’t really think about what the implications of giving up alcohol were for my ability to meet women.
While some are in recovery, an increasing number of women are going sober as a wellness and lifestyle choice. Still, there’s something daunting about the idea of dating without cocktails—for better or worse, booze can be an ally when it comes to awkward moments. The good news: Dating while sober can be just as good, something I found out firsthand when I gave up drinking and continued going out.
Read on for my takeaways and lessons that anyone—even those looking to take a break from drinking—can learn from. When I first got sober, I felt like everything revolved around drinks—after work, on the weekends, and especially during dates. Go to a museum. A good tip: Try to get to know some date-friendly coffee shops, juice bars, or cafes with evening hours. Being upfront is key. But if you do get asked, keep it simple.
Once I got sober, the substance that began to matter to me most was that of the personality of the person I chose to spend my time with, and just how much time I spent with them before I peaced out. I also learned I never have to have sex unless I want to. I am allowed to say no whenever I want. Sometimes regaining confidence can be an adjustment that takes some time.
Going out, without the alcohol
Follow our live coverage for the latest news on the coronavirus pandemic. After quitting alcohol, Faye Lawrence feared her social life was over, so she founded her own non-drinking social group — Untoxicated. The group has grown quickly since it started in Brisbane in early , now boasting more than 1, members and a recently opened chapter in Sydney.
Are you ready to stop drinking? These tips will help you on your road to recovery from alcohol abuse.
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How I Learned To Date After Drinking
I have always had a complex relationship with alcohol. In my early twenties, I tried different approaches: counting my drinks, drinking only beer, drinking water in between drinks. These experiments would always inevitably fail for one reason or another: a bad day, a great day, a regular Friday night.
Are we pretending craft beer or red wine is a health food because it’s artisanal or full of antioxidant something-something? If we want to be healthy, fit, and.
We update our recovery center rankings every month to ensure up-to-date and reliable information. We provide reliable, up to date alcohol related resources to help you or your loved one with alcoholism or finding the best alcohol rehab for you. Social drinking has become a big part of our culture. With frequent weekend outings that are perfect for unwinding and. On the surface, quitting alcohol may appear simple enough. All you have to do is stop drinking. How hard could that be?
Unfortunately, this is a big challenge for many people.
My Boyfriend and I Quit Drinking for a Month and It Changed Everything
Did you over indulge at the start of lockdown? After many weeks of excess maybe you’ve decided enough is enough – and vowed to stop drinking alcohol? If so, you’re not the only one People are just adopting healthier mindsets. Here are all the things I did to stay on track when I decided to give up alcohol:. There are loads of great books out there offering advice on how to stop drinking.
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B eing a woman is hard. When I have, I was always perfectly content to stay stone-cold sober throughout the day or by myself at night, but the same situation always pulled me back in: being in a terrible mood and being around other people. The other night, after performing stand-up comedy as I do , I saw a male comedian clearly in a fit of open annoyance who had, apparently, no problem with being openly abrasive to those around him. Everyone acted as though this attitude was normal.
Because it was. And then I had a strange feeling…was it jealousy? If only I felt comfortable acting like that around other people sometimes rather than feeling an incessant need to be polite and friendly. I wondered, in this moment, if quitting drinking could be added to the long list of things that are harder for women than men. As it turns out, the rate at which women drink in America has been steadily increasing.
Sixty-seven percent of American women drink regularly more than once a week , up from 45 percent in , according to a CDC study. In fact, studies have found that men describe visibly stressed women as less attractive. Similarly, women fear being labeled as angry. And alcohol is a well-known tool for temporarily relieving anxiety — one in five people with social anxiety also have an alcohol-abuse problem. When we put social pressure on women to not ever appear stressed or anxious, I worry that we instead make alcohol a more appealing option.
7 Surprising Things That Happened When I Went A Month Without Drinking
I was 24, and three years sober; it was our first date. We had dinner at a Japanese restaurant, then celebrated the spring warmth with ice cream. We took our cones outside and sat on a bench. We liked each other. There had been no major screw-ups yet. But now it was the time in our date to tell him that I was an alcoholic, and I was finding it very, very hard.
Dry January – it’s nowhere near as fun as Drunk December, right? Wrong.
Alcohol causes serious damage to relationships, that much is obvious. However, it also covers up problems and dysfunction in your relationship. When you quit drinking you are faced with a choice, to repair the damage alcohol has done to your relationship or to address the issues that alcohol was making you avoid dealing with. When I stopped drinking my marriage also came to an end.
I am not saying that quitting drinking caused the collapse of my marriage. I dumped this poison out of my life; I lost some weight and started taking better care of myself. The short story is, I ended up being sober and single for the first time in nearly two decades. Whether you are in a similar experienced position or young free and single it is natural to worry about how you date and avoid alcohol at the same time. The good news is, while appears that alcohol and dating are intrinsically linked.
You may worry that you will be more nervous and less confident without a little glass of Dutch Courage but as I have previously explained:. You are less risk adverse and likely to charge ahead not because you are braver but rather because your intellectual capacity has been compromised. I also remember going on drunken dates. I would start the evening not being very attracted to the woman I was talking to. However, the more I drunk the more attractive she became to me.
Having the Strength to Name and Overcome My Alcoholism
Prior to getting sober, alcohol was my life partner. When I quit drinking, my life partner became anxiety. Lots and lots of anxiety. I started isolating myself in order to feel safe, and then I got depressed from being so isolated. When I tried to go out, I couldn’t relate to anyone anymore, even people I had known for years.
I met the man I currently refer to as Boyfriend online. On his dating profile he clearly stated he was a smoker. I reached out to him because his writing made me.
For me and my boyfriend Brad, casual drinking has always been our thing — it’s not a necessary activity for us, but rather, it’s an accessible one. When we started the terrifying transition from friends to friends-who-sleep-together, frozen Negronis were a staple. For better or worse, alcohol always filled the small spaces in our relationship. But red wine also makes me fall asleep at 10 p. White wine gives Brad a headache. And oh, the money.
The rules were simple: Neither of us would drink, regardless of whether we were hanging out together or not. Not a drop for a full month. But after conquering an all-vegan week with Brad already, I was open to the potential positive changes this experiment would bring. The benefits were immediately clear — getting our usual weekly dinner sans booze made us feel way livelier than usual on a weeknight. We excitedly talked about how we felt more alert and less bloated obviously, we tested the limits of this theory by ordering dessert pretty much every time we went out to eat.
Of course, there was also the part where we had to tell our friends why we were suddenly refusing even the lightest of beers. We quickly learned that people will support and even admire your dry month, but they will also absolutely support you if you cheat.
Deciding to quit drinking alcohol
My arms felt heavy in my lap and my brain felt sluggish. For someone who spent the last decade feeling pretty comfortable around the opposite sex, I was dumbstruck by how self-conscious I was now. How did I used to talk to attractive men before I stopped drinking? For years I was a die-hard partier, never skipping a Saturday night out. Alcohol gave me a magical confidence that helped me navigate the awkwardness of socializing, dating, and generally being a sensitive person in the world.
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I remember the first time I drank alcohol. It was a bit later than most of my peers. I had vowed not to drink because I had seen the damage it could do to a family. They encouraged me to just have one. It tasted good and made me feel good. Alcohol put me at ease talking to new people and made me feel comfortable in my own body. Life seemed to be going fairly well and I had a strong faith. I just drank like a normal college kid — or so I thought.
I never had a good gauge of how much to drink and so I would often blackout for failure of recognizing to slow down or stop soon enough.
Subscriber Account active since. I’m a 30 year-old-man and ever since leaving college, I’ve been sober so, for nearly a decade. In that time, I’ve found it difficult to meet women to date. The women I work with are all married, most with kids, so a workplace social group is almost out of the question. Years of swiping on apps have led nowhere since many women from apps have been turned off by my refusal to drink.
Upon getting sober, many people may wonder what is going to happen to their dating ‘s so common to meet up at a bar for a first date.
Last Updated: August 5, References Approved. This article was co-authored by Tiffany Douglass, MA. She has over ten years of experience in substance abuse treatment and was appointed a Global Goodwill Ambassador in for her efforts in residential addiction treatment. This article has 43 testimonials from our readers, earning it our reader-approved status. This article has been viewed 2,, times.
You’re looking at this page, which means you want to quit. That’s the good news. The not-so-good news is that quitting is hard. It’s a truth that is painful, and one shouldn’t sugar-coat it. The great news is that medical technology, integrated communities, and effective psychological counseling have made it easier than ever to quit. If you feel that you drink too much, there are many benefits of sobriety: preventing strokes , losing weight , avoiding hangovers , and reducing the likelihood of liver disease are only a few beside a general uptick in overall health.